When Life Gives you Lemons...

I got this super cutie lemon print dress in the mail months ago (I think it was in Spring?)... but, I had spine surgery and then another leg surgery so I hadn't gotten around to wearing it let alone blogging about it!  It's been hanging from my shelves staring at me "Vivi, you KNOW you want to wear meeee!"  I do, Lemon Dress!  I do!!!!

The dress is custom sized to fit my proportions and added a wide V-neck.  I have it above-the-knee length and kept the sleeve length.  I was a little bit frustrated because they made the sleeves *exactly* the size that I had given then, which means that they are rather snug (but not tight).  I had hoped for a little more room... but, they don't look bad. I had also asked for the wide V-neck to be a bit lower because I am tall and wanted a bit of cleavage... alas, they didn't do anything to change the wide V-neck, but it still fits rather well regardless. I've gotten considerably worse custom garments in the past that I've had to ship back.

I've been taking steroids, again, and am about to have another surgery on my spine (I found out that I have a congenital defect that makes me more prone to spinal damage).  I'm not entirely sure what they are going to do, next, but I've been in a world of pain on top of getting all mushy faces from the steroid pills and spine injection (which does help!).  I don't really like it when people see me when I am not at my best... so, I tend to hide.  I'm trying to not do that because it means that I've been hiding for a lot of the year, so far... and not fashion blogging as much as I would like because I feel like I look puffy and tired and ugly in every single photo that I see of myself. 

Insecurity and body shame totally get the better of me when I am not well.  I'm not exactly "sick"... just severely injured.  And, these photos were taken in about 15 minutes after spending about two weeks in bed in agony (dude, spine pain that messes with your leg is *not* a good time).  But, thankfully my spine pain specialist put me on a new crazy drug that my pharmacy had to special order for me because they don't carry it for anyone else.  And, it helps a ton!  But it isn't really fixing the issue or decompressing the nerve root in my spine.  Blegh.  So, surgery is necessary. 

Have I mentioned that I am sick and tired of surgery!?!?!?  I hate anesthesia.  I hate the hospital because it's boring and nurses yell at me like I literally don't know what my body is capable of (like, don't convince me NOT to walk and then strap me to a chair because you think I shouldn't be able to walk!  If I say I can walk... I CAN WALK!).  So, I am not happy about any of this and just want to get back to my life now!!! 
Hopefully this will be the last surgery for a while (said Vivi two surgeries ago).  *ugh*


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